Ariana Grande: The Perfect Role Model?

Ariana GrandeWell, well, well… What better way to represent our grief than to wiggle around singing about being sore after sex…
Sorry folks. Ariana Grande’s ‘Oneness’ concert that took place in Manchester yesterday has yet to move me. And now I see the Telegraph has published an article on how a reporter who, after watching the concert, had decided that Ariana wasn’t a bad role model for her daughter after all… Oh, really?
So because Grande decided ditch her normally skimpy costumes for one event, she’s now a good role model? Does that magically nullify all the innuendo laced songs directed at young girls (including such empowering lyrics such as ‘It’s Hard To Breathe When You’re Kissing Me There’ and talk of ‘Dick Bicycles’), nor remember the hating of America, licking of doughnuts, and gratuitous music videos with people having sex on car hoods?
Maybe a little less cupcake fluff and a little more condemnation of violence would be in order for me to be impressed. But as for the glowing article by that wonderful mother, the reporter, I guess that a paycheck from a magazine is enough to change anyone’s mind, folks. I just wonder if she’ll find it empowering when her daughter is old enough to do more than just ‘sing’ about ‘dick bicycles’…
Gotta love society today. Gotta love it…
– Maggie Lynn Heron-Heidel

Kim Kardashian Joins NASA To Become The First Reality TV Star Astronaut

Announced early Saturday via the Daily Squat, Kim Kardashian’s representative announced that in early May the reality TV megastar would become the first of her kind, a new breed of space travel: the ASS-Tronaut.

The new program to launch her  into space would be one of the first funded by President Trump’s NASA bill. Amazingly despite the general controversy over his policies, this policy seems to have been greeted with support from both sides of the Republican and Democratic aisle. The mission, code named ProjecKim Kardashiant Double Michelin, will be to test the gravitational pull on large and gelatinous life forms for which the scientists felt Mrs. Kardashian West’s derriere would be perfect.

At the current moment, there is no immediate plan for bringing her back down out of orbit.

To ensure her safety, Mrs. Kardashian West has insured her rear end for an additional twenty million dollars and the taping rights to the new reality TV show are currently being sought after by a number of entertainment companies.

The only opponent to this new plan is her husband, Kanye West. He feels he is and always has been America’s perfect ASS-Tronaut and would be more perfect for the project. Despite most of American’s agreeing with this sentiment, there are still no immediate plans for him to participate in the experiment.

As of this time, it is still unclear whether Whoopi Goldberg, Raven Simone and other celebrities plan to join the program to escape Trump’s presidency as well.

Now wouldn’t we all have loved for this to have been true? Love her or hate her, Kim was the butt of this April fools joke! But what is true is that my new novel, WAR MACHINE, is set to drop on May 18th! Make sure to  check it out here.


  • Article and novel by Maggie Lynn Heron-Heidel. Thanks to Peg Heron Heidel for inspiring this article. Have a happy April!

This article has not been approved by Kim Kardashian and is covered by the American copyright law and falls under the category of fair use.


Is Your TV Evil? – A Faith Based Look

Sanctification and purification begins with your mind. Whatever you allow your eyes to see, your ears to hear, and your mouth to speak, are what you become. My advice? Guard them. If you don’t believe in violence, then don’t watch it on TV or play violent video games. The same applies to listening to music filled with profanity, drug references, and promiscuity. Most people don’t even realize what they are being subjected to. Main stream entertainment content is filled with subliminal advertising for just about anything you can think of, including pharmaceuticals!
I am not suggesting that you turn off everything in entirety. No. I am just asking you to think of what it is fostering. If you are depressed and cannot figure out why, try to look at what is influencing you. Your TV constantly advertises every ailment they can prescribe a drug for and flaunts violence not because it is the news, but because it generates money for the channels and their advertisers! Mind you, this includes our politicians, too. They do advertise after all!
Take a break. Be with yourself and with God. Get outside, read a book, and metaphorically smell the roses. The roses haven’t shot anyone today. They won’t convince you that you have some new horrible and probably falsified disease. And they certainly aren’t xenophobic, racist, or accusing you of being a misogynist!
Reach out to our Lord and savior Jesus Christ for comfort and clarity. He listens. He heals us. He teaches us not to hate and to take care of our minds, bodies and souls. He wants us to be well and He loves us.
Can you claim the same for your TV?
– Peace be with you, Maggie Lynn